One (First Time)
by redskiez
Summary: It's his first time realizing he's in love with Deidara. (TobiDei week, day 1.)


**Day 1. First time**

He's outside. That's all he could really notice about himself right now as he sits in a chair, elbows digging harshly into the rough wooden surface of the table.

His breathing hurts his lungs, that's another thing that he can scarcely pay attention to. He quickly realizes why the air is scorching his throat — it's nearly winter.

The sky is falling. A disgusting mix between solid and liquid. He turns his head slightly to the side and, as best as he could with the mask in the way, tries to watch the pale white mush fall from the sky. It makes everything sound mute, especially when people walk by. Usually, through the paper thin door, you'd still hear the woman outside attempting to attract passersby with the promise of good food and warm drinks. Today, however, he could not hear a thing.

Or is it because the blood is rushing in his ears? He cannot tell.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tries to gather some of his senses that he must have left back at the lair today. He returns his attention — or at least his gaze — back to the subject at hand, a single cup filled with tea that is no longer hot. It is already room temperature, no longer steaming like it did when the waiter first brought it out.

He feels a strange sense of guilt, as though he could not stand to know that he wasted a good cup of tea. Letting out a breath through his nose, he grips the cup tighter as though he means to take a sip from it. But he remembers his mask and, upon remembering that he is not alone, hopes that his partner does not notice his moment of tenseness.

Unfortunately for him, Deidara isn't the kind of person to miss anything.

"Stop thinking, hm," Deidara says, taking another sip of his tea in a motion that simply bleeds out annoyance. "I can hear you think and it's loud."

Tobi laughs at his senpai's words, though even Obito isn't sure what he was thinking about, isn't sure how Deidara could pick out that he's pondering something else in the first place.

"I thought senpai said I don't think," Tobi says, as cheerfully as Obito could manage in this slightly hazy, faint feeling that is occupying his body now. Why is he all nerves?

Deidara snorts, his shoulders shrugging as though he is throwing his hands up in the air, yet Obito knows that he is not doing so.

"That's why it's loud when you do," Deidara says, bringing his cup to his lips. "It's annoying. Stop it."

Tobi laughs, though he does not respond. As he stares down at his cup, debating whether or not to actually drink it, he hears Deidara move again.

"What are you thinking about, yeah?" He clearly sounds annoyed but Obito could pick up tones of slight curiosity, or perhaps even concern. His question, however, is a good one. Obito tilts his head and wonders.

He wonders if he should even answer Deidara. He wonders if Deidara would understand.

Obito doesn't even know what he's thinking about if he is honest with himself. Lost in a haze, he simply allowed his thoughts to run without following it.

But he supposes he allowed himself to do that simply because he's afraid.

He's afraid of talking to Deidara. This isn't a date, per say, but this is the first time they came out on their own terms without a mission to connect them together.

Deidara looks at him, making his skin prickle right at the back of his neck. At the single raise of his eyebrow, Tobi lowers his head and hides it in his hand.

He couldn't see what Deidara is doing, but he could sense that he might be amused. Obito couldn't figure out why, but he isn't about to kill his brain cells just to attempt to figure it out.

A few moments later, after hearing a sniff and the scraping of a cup against the wooden table, he feels a hand on the top of his head. Startled, he drops his hands and looks up, staring up at Deidara with wide eyes — not that he would see.

"You haven't been talking since we got here, hm," he says, seemingly random, though Obito supposes that he's saying this as though he needs explaining why he could 'hear' Tobi think. "You just keep staring at your cup, even though you haven't taken a sip."

He pauses there, as though he wants to say something. His eyebrows come together, eyes squinting and becoming half-shut. He's focusing on what words he should use and Obito could not help but notice and become mesmerized. Yes, his thoughts…

"It's fine if you don't want to," Deidara says with slight hesitation. Obito knows that his partner is a curious boy and his face and ability is a constant mystery for him to attempt to solve, but he does not speak up, unsure and perhaps even self-conscious about his appearance. A bit of his past that he does not want to reveal.

After a few heartbeats of silence, Deidara coughs and looks away, though he keeps his hand on Tobi's head. "I'm just saying you're usually really loud and talkative. It's really weird that you're suddenly so quiet, hm," he grunts, biting his lip and that attracts Obito's gaze. "So if you've got anything on your mind, you can tell me."

"Senpai is really beautiful," Tobi says automatically.

Deidara's head snaps back immediately, blue eyes intensely staring down at the eyehole of Tobi's mask. There's a few muscle twitches, a beginning of a frown at his lips, but then everything freezes.

Obito isn't making fun of the junior. He is avoiding everything because he is nervous at the prospect of no longer having a conversation between Deidara. Obito is only good at using the guise of Tobi's inability to take a mission seriously to keep the companionship between Deidara and him going. When Obito couldn't think of anything to say, his mind only ever really focusing on the plan and hastening the end, he begins to attempt to focus on something else, anything else.

Perhaps that isn't the best thing to do, but Obito is afraid. This is not his usual battle. Especially not one that he's used to. And while Obito was sure of his feelings for Rin, after this, he's sure now his affections for Deidara as well.

The corner of Deidara's mouth twitches and eventually his face brightens, his gaze lowering to the table and he gently pats Tobi's head.

"Dumbass, hm," he mutters. "This is not a date."

"Can it be?" Tobi laughs, shifting his hands and placing them flat on the table to cushion his chin. "Is it your first time?"

"What?" Deidara stutters, digging his fingers into Tobi's head, grabbing a fist full of his hair. His hand-mouth joins in on the action, biting down on the chunk.

"Ow! Ow!" Tobi whines, his hands immediately whipping up and slapping at Deidara's. "Senpai! I was just asking if it's the first time you've been called beautiful!"

Deidara grunts his answer, letting go of Tobi's hair after he deems him thoroughly tugged enough. Obito whines as he rubs his head, pouting all the while — though, again, he knows Deidara would not be able to see. He is aware of a pair of eyes on him the entire time.

Moments later, Deidara snorts once more, grabbing his cup again and raising it as though he is going to take a sip. Obito notices that he's actually blushing.

"It's the first time I cared so much about a person that actually got affected by his compliments, hm," he mutters underneath his breath, so light that if Obito isn't paying attention, he'd miss it.

Obito grins and then barks out a laugh. It is only because he decides to immediately stand up that Deidara missed his punch. Tossing a few coins on the table to cover the cost of their drinks and the snacks Deidara ordered, Tobi reaches over and grabs him by the arm, lifting him up and hurrying out the door. "Come on, senpai, let's watch the snow together," he says. "It could be our first time."

"What? Hey!" Deidara protests, staggering behind him. "It's too cold to do that! My sandals will get wet, yeah!"

"Then you can cuddle with me," Tobi laughs again. "It can be our first time."

At Deidara's protest, Obito keeps the final thought to himself, for it is their first time realizing they cared about each other.

* * *

Hey guys, Red here!

This is the first day of TobiDei week, as depicted on tobideiweek dot tumblr dot com.

The theme is First Time, as mentioned, but I had a hard time with this one. Not a good start for something that is supposedly the first one, but it is as it is. I rewrote this about three times and I wanted to rewrite it again but it's already the 7th by the time I decided to do it so I stopped myself. I end up getting stuck halfway even though I know how it should end. It just wouldn't get there. I'm confused and I might just blame it on my coursework. There's a lot of writing for me to do and I'm not used to it at all. The laziness I feel almost immediately after classes are absolutely terrible. Couldn't even really get my ass off to work, so I'm really, really sorry if this is horrible.

I had to wake up at 7 am on the 7th because of a book festival that ended up not being worth it at all and I'm still super tired from shopping for a lanyard and shit. I promise the one for tomorrow will be slightly better.

I hope.

You can participate in TobiDei week yourself! Just visit tobideiweek dot tumblr dot com and read the prompts and FAQs!


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